Seizing the Moments

Moments of Grief

Psalm 23

 

Opening Words: We believe in an omnipresent God. In other words, we believe God is universal. He has the ability to be in all places, all the time. He is not limited to the sanctuary of this church, He is everywhere. Just think about it for one moment! There has never been a time when you were orphaned by God, He has always been with you. That divine truth is part of the Good News. I have come to the end of this seven part sermon series that celebrates God’s omnipresence. I have called this sermon series Seizing the Moments.

 

We end with one more moment, Moments of Grief. Our scripture lesson for this morning matches the theme perfectly. The twenty-third Psalm maybe the most recognized piece of scripture in the Bible. However, it is most often heard when death invades your personal space. I have said it a million times. It is not really a text about death. It is a text about God’s faithfulness to each and everyone of us, especially during our greatest loses. It is for this reason the twenty-third Psalm acts as the perfect back drop for this morning‘s theme, grief. May God give you ears to hear these timeless words.

 

Psalm 23 1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

 

It was a day that will be remember by my family forever. It was in the summer of 1983. I phoned home to report to my parents that I have arrived in Wilmore, Kentucky. My days as a seminary student were about to begin and I was excited. My mother patiently listened to my tale and then said something that ruined the day. My Uncle Bob was killed in a small plane accident in White Plains, New York. He had flown himself safely for years but his perfect record was shattered on that day. His engine stalled at take off. At the age of 53 he would never return home again. His wife, my Aunt Phyllis was left alone to pick up the pieces. Everyone prayed for her as she attempted to move into the future alone.

 

Does you family have a day that you will never forget? Sometimes those days come in the form of a big promotion or hiring? Sometime those big days come in the form of new life or a new home. I hope those are your memorable days. Does anyone here have a memorable day that revolves around death? Sometimes it comes suddenly and sometimes it comes at the end of a long marathon. In the big picture, it really doesn’t matter. Death has a way of ruining our days and generating painful memories.

 

They tell me in Dayton you can find the home of noted poet Paul Laurence Dunbar. When Dunbar died, his mother left his room exactly as it was on the day of his death. At the desk of this brilliant man was his final poem, handwritten on a pad. After his mother died, her friends discovered that Paul Laurence Dunbar's last poem had been lost forever. Because his mother had made his room into a shrine and not moved anything, the sun had bleached the ink in which the poem was written until it was invisible. The poem was gone. The lesson is clear! If we stay in mourning, we lose so much of life.

My goal today is not to help you forget those days. My goal today is to help you move into the future with the your memories. I am not so sure they should be forgotten. They serve as a monument for our lived ones. However, that doesn’t mean our lives should stop. We are to appreciate and embrace everyday that God has given us. He has given us certain things in our lives so we have the ability to make the adjustments in life and move forward. I am sure there are many but I only have time for three today. I hope you find them help the next time you find yourself dealing with grief. So if you are ready to begin say, “Amen!”

 

Time

God uses time to heal our grief. These are difficult words for many Americans to hear. We live in a society where we want everything fast. We eat food and watch something called “video on demand.” Asking an American to wait for anything is wrong but God uses time to heal our grief. The reason is time is important. It takes time to go through the pilgrimage. In a certain way death is a journey through the valley of the shadow of death.

 

Counselors that deal with grief tell us there are certain things that we must experience. Maybe you can remember passing these points during your pilgrimage?

Numbness It is a mixture of feeling and shock. It is the way that God gets us through those first painful days.

Expressed Emotion It is at those moments that we begin to workout the grief. During that period we need to cry it out, work it out, talk it out and pray it out.

Loneliness David said it best in the twenty-third Psalm. We must walk through the valley alone. There are some things others can’t do for us. We must do it for ourselves.

Questioning Why? Why did my uncle have to get in that plane that day? Why did he have to fly his own plane at all?

Guilt That is where you find the regrets in your life. You regret not writing more, talking more, visiting more, saying, “I love you” more. Your regrets and your guilt stand side by side.

Reality Finally, we make the adjustments in life that we have to make and begin to move forward again.

 

The grieving process can not be rushed. It takes time. Each one of us travels that pilgrimage at our own pace. God uses time to heal our grief. And all of God’s people said, “Amen!”

 

People

God uses people to heal our grief. Earlier this week Kathryn and I were in Fredericksburg. We were in Virginia for two reasons. First, we went to visit Andy and Mae Douglas, who relocated to Virginia in May. (Yes, they are doing find and are enjoying their new surroundings.) Second, we went to visit the old Civil War battlefield. It was a Confederate victory and is remembered as one of the most one sided battles in the American Civil War. Nearly 18,000 were killed. History also tells us that near the end of the battle something truly amazing happened. With the field spread with dead and wounded, a seventeen year old Confederate Sergeant jumped the line and began to give water to his enemies. Today, there is a statute to remember his kind acts. He is the symbol of human compassion.

 

Frederick the Great once said, “The more I get to know people, the more I love my dog.” I couldn’t disagree more. There is just something about the way we are wired. We were not intended to live in isolation. At our moments of grief, it is people who offer the greatest relief. It may take the form of a casserole dish from a good friend or it may take the form of an old story from a distant cousin. You may find relief in holding a baby full of potential. It really doesn’t matter. The only things that really matters is people, who help us during life’s most difficult moments. One of the greatest aides God has given you during your time of grief are the people in your life. As your pastor, let me say this clearly: Never take the people in your life for granted. If you can remember that say, “Amen!” The last tool is unique to believers. There are many in our world that do not have this last it. It is the tool of faith.

 

Faith

God uses faith to heal our grief. C.S. Lewis said, “If you read history you will find that the Christians who did the most for the present world were those who thought most of the next.” One of the great promises of our faith is heaven. Ask any Sunday school child and they will tell you, “When we die we go to heaven.” However, it is impossible to separate the hope of heaven from the reality of the resurrection. Without the resurrection there is no hope of heaven. During your moments of grief never underestimate the importance of the resurrection. It is the very cornerstone of our faith.

 

The early church understood the importance of the resurrection. It was the one thing that separated them from the rest of the world. It is the one thing that separates us from the rest of the world. Did you know the New Testament writers referred to the resurrection of Jesus more than 300 times? Did you know the very first creed in the church, Romans 8, revolves around the resurrection? The early church fathers recognized the importance of the resurrection and worshipped on Sunday mornings because it was on a Sunday morning that the women came to the tomb and discovered the resurrected Jesus. Never underestimate the importance of the resurrection.

 

Several years ago, someone asked me the question, “What do you look forward to in when you go to heaven?” The answer I gave was honest and sincere. It was also a little selfish. Do you know what I look forward to in heaven? I bet it is the same thing you look forward to in heaven? I look forward to being reunited with all my loved ones, who have passed. Maybe I should have said, “Sitting at the throne” or singing “Amazing Grace” in the eternal choir? I said being reunited with loved ones because that is what I am looking forward to in heaven. I have the hope and you have that hope of a great reunion because of the power of the resurrection. Without the resurrection, there would be no hope of a great reunion or heaven. The resurrection give us hope for a better today! And all of God’s people said, “Amen!“

 

Last June my nephew Jeffery was married to a wonderful young woman by the name of Jennifer Conner. My tiny family gathered in South Bend, Indiana and celebrated. It was a great weekend, the Ohio Protestant was married in the Notre Dame basilica. My Aunt Phyllis was there alone. She never remarried. Her husband, my Uncle Bob was her one and only love. While everyone had a great time at the wedding, she may have had the best. I have never seen her higher spirits. Did she forget Uncle Bob? No! I am sure she thought about him countless times on that day. Did she adjust and move forward in life with those memories? Yes!

 

How did she adjust and move forward? She must have used three gifts that God gives all of us when we loose loved ones. They are three gifts you should use the next time you experience one of those memorable days. The first gift is time. It is like a pilgrimage walking through the valley of the shadow of death. The second gift is people. Embrace all the relationships in your life. The third gift is faith. The resurrection changed everything! And all of God’s people said, “Amen!”